rules 1-40 of how to survive in a horror/slasher/zombie film!

1) Virgins never get killed by the killer (if a virgin dies it's self inflicted)

2) Ranged weapons are a must though bows/crossbows are proffered due to their low noise generation. (zombies are attracted to sudden loud noises)

3) fire doesn't kill them, but provides an excellent distraction for a getaway.

4) always be prepared to do melee.

5) when in a group never have more then 4 others with you. (large groups tend to get surrounded by large mobs of enemies)

6) if someone in your group gets bitten by a zombie and did not get ripped to shreds by said zombie. Kill them. Incidentally if the same thing happens to you and you are alone off yourself. (you're gonna die anyways).

7) No Loose Clothing!

8) never go investigating any 'sounds'

9) Don't drink alcohol/ take drugs. any impairment to you will result in killer/zombie killing you.

10) get the F out of the place.

11) Drive don't run.

12) stick to paved roads

13) never pick up hitchhikers.

14) If you are in a zombie infested town in dire need of supplies to get the F out of the place. Remember, "to hell with laws and morals" steal the shiz you need and toss it into your newly acquired vehicle.

15) no sex until all bogeys are terminated for good.

16) climbing trees never helps

17) never go into a place that has only 1 entry/exit point.

18) napalm

19) The killer will always know your exact location no matter where you go. Use this to your advantage.

20) a newly formed zombie with be slow at first (due to riggimortis setting in the first 1-2 hours) after 72 hours the zombiwe body will relax letting it regain speed to double that of a average human. after a week or two the zombie will slow again due to decomposition. so rule of thumb the smellier the zombie the slower.

21) never play loud music or make any loud noises killer and zombies are attracted to them.

22) never go into dark places.

23) glass barriers will only slow down the enemy for a few short moments.

24) wear chain mail (plate armor's too heavy) this will increase your survivability/advoidance of bites when in melee.

25) aim for the F'ing head!

26) when choosing a gun take the shotgun, lowers the miss chance. also bring more ammo then you think you'll need.

27) no head = no problem.. most of the time.

28) stay calm killers tend to get confused/lose interest in calm targets. Zombies also have a harder time seeing calm targets.(why I don't know it just works that way)

29) Garlic doesn't kill/ward away vampires. garlic is there to keep you from gagging from the stench of death.

30) regular bullets CAN KILL A WEREWOLF. Werewolves lied about being only able to be killed by silver ones because they know people are too cheep/poor to make silver bullets.

31) if you are attacked by a werewolf and by some miracle you were only bitten.. just roll with it and join your new lycan brothers, unless you have the cure with you/immune to the curse.

32) Crucifixes and holy water work on demons and vampires only.

33) witchcraft never works.. for the good guys.

34) Churches are only a safe haven when.. see rule #32

35) the Bible is a powerful weapon against anything.. it's just how you use it determines how effective it is.

36) don't let their blood or saliva get inside you. masks and goggles are a must.

37) being smelly is okay. showers/baths are were a good many people die from killer attacks. If bathing is necessary, swim across a small river on your exodus away from the killer, you are doing 2 things at once; 'cleaning' yourself and running the F away from the killer.

38) The government always had some part in it.. always.

39) only stop to refuel/re gear.

40) it's never over 'till it's over.